Psalm 37:4

Psalm 37:4 Delight thyself also in the Lord, and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart.

Sunday, September 29, 2013

1 step forward 2 steps back

I just realized that I haven't posted about our progress, or lack of progress.  Well, it is progress but some days I feel like we are as far away from traveling as ever.  One thing I've learned in this process is to never count my chickens because there's always something else that can go wrong.  I'm not complaining or being negative but just being real.  Every single step of our adoption, except for one so far, has been the longest estimated wait time.  Every time we take another step I breath a sigh of relief and pray we are finished with delays but then something else happens to hold us up.  Let me fill you in...

September 6 - the one year anniversary of our referral of Lauren we finally got the call that we received first approval at the September 4 meeting!  Yay!!

September 9-  received word our article 16 came!  Double yay!!  (This is the one thing that came sooner than expected)

September 10-  article 16 delivered to our house

September 12-  mailed I-800 application to the drop box and sent the visa packet along with a care package to Holt (Jason took care of this for me because I have major anxiety when going to the post office, don't ask it's too tramitizing to explain)

-Sigh of relief and hope that we will sail through to travel-

September 13-  I-800 arrived at the drop box in Texas

September 27-  received a call from Holt telling us that USCIS has to send us a RFE (request for evidence) letter.  Commence the tears!!!  It's all because our home study said we were approved for a child 0-24 months and by the time we finally got first approval Lauren was over 24 months.  If the home study would have said 0-2 years it would have been fine.  Grrrrrrr!  Now we have to wait for a new home study to be mailed to us then we have to file a supplement 3 and send a $360 check.  Beyond the money and extra paperwork we are wasting time!  At this point one day delay is more than I can handle!  The positive thing is the Thai director doesn't think it will delay us much in travel.  Of course at this point I am thinking of all the ways that we can possibly be delayed with the rest of this a government shut down!!!!!

I feel like I'm getting good at being disappointed and learning to handle it with grace.  I sometimes find myself asking why it has been so hard for us to complete our family.  I know the wait and pain now will be worth it in the end, but in this moment it is so hard.  I have cried more tears in the last few months than I think I have in my entire life.  I don't even get mad when the delays come now it's just sadness.   If I think about having to file this extra paperwork for too long I get knots in my stomach and feel sick and not to mention the government shut down that is looming.  I trust Gods plan and his time but oh how it hurts my heart...

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