The Good and the Bad...

Friday was  a day of mixed emotions, we went from starting the day hopeful to a deep disappointing low to a wonderful high.  We got our disappointing news Friday afternoon.  It was something that we have been praying for and if God would have allowed it to happen would of taken care of a lot of needs in our life, primarily financially.  Sometimes I don't understand how a door can open or an opportunity can arise and you think God had to open that door so you pray even harder and you think positively and then it's slammed shut in your face.  That's how we felt Friday afternoon.  I was to the point that I just wished the opportunity wouldn't have come up so we could have avoided the hurt and disappointment and the lack of understanding.  The "why's"  that you ask God when things don't make sense.   

We had planned all week to go to a Jason Crabb concert  Friday night.  His concert's are near and dear to our hearts because it was at one of them that the Lord spoke to me about adoption.  Every since we started the adoption process I had hoped that when the day came we received our referral I would be able to share our story with Jason Crabb.  I just wanted him to know the part that he played in the whole thing.  I had hoped that I would have the opportunity to tell him our story that night but after the bad news we got that afternoon I was fighting the urge to sit at home and pout.  It was hard not to be negative but I spent the afternoon praying for peace and reminding myself his ways are not my ways.

Once we got to the concert the opening band was still on stage singing and I saw Jason Crabb walk in the back by his merch table.  There were a few people that asked him for autographs and took pictures but not many people had seen him yet.  Jason and I talked about this being my chance if I wanted to have time to speak to him.  So, I gathered my courage grabbed the extra adoption video I burned just in case and my photo album of Lauren that I carry in my purse and headed down to talk to him.  I was able to tell him our story and the role that he played in it.  He was so nice and excited for us.  He told us he was thankful for sharing our story with him because it encourages them to hear those sorts of testimony's. I felt a weight had been lifted from my chest.  I felt as though I had accomplished what God wanted me to do.  I went back to my seat feeling a peace and calm in my soul.  When he took the stage and started singing I knew this was exactly where I needed to be.  Spending time worshiping the Lord even when we were so disappointed in the news we received today.  He sang for about 45 minutes and right before he took a break he promoted World Vision and mentioned us.  He said he was just told of a wonderful testimony about a family being led to adopt from an experience with  World Vision.  I was excited because I thought it could possibly speak to someone else about adopting.  He came back from break and finished his concert and at the very end he called for us to come up on stage.  He told the audience about us and asked me to tell them the story I told him.  I AM NOT A PUBLIC SPEAKER!!!  I couldn't believe what was happening but I had no choice!!!  It was so quiet as I walked to the microphone.  I could hear my heals echoing in my ears!!!  With every step I took I was praying to God.  I prayed for him to give me the words to say and I told him I was doing this for him and for adoption awareness.  I stepped up to the microphone and told our story.  God helped me through it without any mess ups or blunders.  I found it's quite easy to talk about something that you are passionate about.  He then asked for people give money to help fund the rest of our adoption expenses.  They put  a drum case on the edge of the stage to use as an offering bucket and while Jason Crabb was still speaking a little boy walked up and handed him 2 dollars.  It was so sweet!  He had us go down and stand by the offering bucket and asked people to come forward and give money.  It was so overwhelming and humbling!  A crowd of people came forward and dropped money in and we hugged and shook hands with everyone of them.  It was amazing to hear their words of encouragement.  There was a man who told us he had been adopted as a young child and people who said they would pray for us and asked us to pray for them.  There were so many nice things said to Isaac about always keeping his soft heart and how it all started with him and to never turn from the Lord when he grows up!  It was so touching and an experience that I will never ever forget.  We were so blessed Friday night.  Not only financially but spiritually.  We walked away with $1,121.77 that night which is huge for us but even more than that God showed us that he is right here with us.  God still has his hand on us and that gave me comfort and peace.  He allowed something to happen that was beyond anything we could have hoped for.  God is so good ALL the time!!!