Band Together...

After writing my last post about letting God work I happened to read a Joyce Meyer article that articulated exactly what I was trying to say but of course much more eloquent than I could ever dream of.  I hope she doesn't mind but I am going to share a portion of  what she had to say...

Joyce Meyer-  But the humble get the help.  So if your way isn't working, why not try God's way?  All of us would be better off if we'd learn to lean on God and ask for his help.  But as long as we try to do everything ourselves, God will let us.  He won't take care of our problems and worries-our cares-until we turn loose of them and give them to Him.  Either we're going to do it or God's going to do it, but both of us aren't going to.  Now, casting your care doesn't mean you can be irresponsible.  God won't do for you what you can do yourself.  You must do what you can do, and then trust God to do what you can't.  When we humble ourselves and ask for his help, then he's able to release His power in our situations.  It's only then that we can really enjoy life.

This summed up my feelings exactly.  The underlined portions are what really touched me the most.  Especially the line that says you must do what you can do, and then trust God to do what you can't.  We had done all that we could do financially.  Finally, we just turned it all over to God and boy did he provide!  WOW!  He has worked in amazing ways in the last 7 days!

Friday night our friends from Lifepoint church planned and organized a fund raiser that we called Band Together for the Fatherless.  We invited worship bands from other local churches and basically had one huge worship service.  We had 5 bands total including Lifepoint's worship band.  It was the most amazing night of worship and adoption awareness!  In between bands we either showed an adoption video including our own or spoke about adoption.  The cool thing was the feedback from the worship bands.  They loved being able to have the chance to sit in the audience and worship while the other bands played.  Which is something they never get to do.  Also, the fact that 5 different churches could come together for one cause truly showed the unity of God's people.  We heard comments like "why haven't we done something like this before"  to "we should do this next year and get even more churches involved!".  It was such a blessing to hear such positive feedback!!! 

The church took up a love offering for us and they also sold raffle tickets before the concert started.  They collected over $3,800.00!!!!!  But that's not all!!!  My sister in-law Kayla and my brother Matt had secretly conducted a fund raiser.  They bought every bottle at Wal-Mart and passed them out for people to fill with change.  There were all kinds of bottles floating around at our school and I never once saw a single one!!!  They were very sneaky!  My brother's worship band played that night and while they were on stage they presented us with the money they raised.....it was over $2,000.00!!!  I was so overwhelmed to say the least.  There were a lot of tears that night, I'll just tell ya that!  :)

So, from last Friday at the Jason Crabb concert to this Friday at our fund raiser God blessed us with just shy of $8,000.00!!!!!!! 

Just to think that we almost talked ourselves out of even trying to do a fund raiser!  We would have robbed ourselves of God's blessings!  Oh us of little faith was hoping optimistically to raise $2,000.00 maaaaaybe 3 if we were really lucky.  Once again we tried to limit the power of our Lord.  God has been so good to us and he has showed us how much he loves us in a huge way!  Also, there were so many people that showed us how much they care about us and adoption.  People who are friends, family and even strangers that have given because they have a heart for adoption.  They all will be forever a part of our story and the story that we will one day share with Lauren.  

Forever Grateful,
The Ledbetter's

The Good and the Bad...

Friday was  a day of mixed emotions, we went from starting the day hopeful to a deep disappointing low to a wonderful high.  We got our disappointing news Friday afternoon.  It was something that we have been praying for and if God would have allowed it to happen would of taken care of a lot of needs in our life, primarily financially.  Sometimes I don't understand how a door can open or an opportunity can arise and you think God had to open that door so you pray even harder and you think positively and then it's slammed shut in your face.  That's how we felt Friday afternoon.  I was to the point that I just wished the opportunity wouldn't have come up so we could have avoided the hurt and disappointment and the lack of understanding.  The "why's"  that you ask God when things don't make sense.   

We had planned all week to go to a Jason Crabb concert  Friday night.  His concert's are near and dear to our hearts because it was at one of them that the Lord spoke to me about adoption.  Every since we started the adoption process I had hoped that when the day came we received our referral I would be able to share our story with Jason Crabb.  I just wanted him to know the part that he played in the whole thing.  I had hoped that I would have the opportunity to tell him our story that night but after the bad news we got that afternoon I was fighting the urge to sit at home and pout.  It was hard not to be negative but I spent the afternoon praying for peace and reminding myself his ways are not my ways.

Once we got to the concert the opening band was still on stage singing and I saw Jason Crabb walk in the back by his merch table.  There were a few people that asked him for autographs and took pictures but not many people had seen him yet.  Jason and I talked about this being my chance if I wanted to have time to speak to him.  So, I gathered my courage grabbed the extra adoption video I burned just in case and my photo album of Lauren that I carry in my purse and headed down to talk to him.  I was able to tell him our story and the role that he played in it.  He was so nice and excited for us.  He told us he was thankful for sharing our story with him because it encourages them to hear those sorts of testimony's. I felt a weight had been lifted from my chest.  I felt as though I had accomplished what God wanted me to do.  I went back to my seat feeling a peace and calm in my soul.  When he took the stage and started singing I knew this was exactly where I needed to be.  Spending time worshiping the Lord even when we were so disappointed in the news we received today.  He sang for about 45 minutes and right before he took a break he promoted World Vision and mentioned us.  He said he was just told of a wonderful testimony about a family being led to adopt from an experience with  World Vision.  I was excited because I thought it could possibly speak to someone else about adopting.  He came back from break and finished his concert and at the very end he called for us to come up on stage.  He told the audience about us and asked me to tell them the story I told him.  I AM NOT A PUBLIC SPEAKER!!!  I couldn't believe what was happening but I had no choice!!!  It was so quiet as I walked to the microphone.  I could hear my heals echoing in my ears!!!  With every step I took I was praying to God.  I prayed for him to give me the words to say and I told him I was doing this for him and for adoption awareness.  I stepped up to the microphone and told our story.  God helped me through it without any mess ups or blunders.  I found it's quite easy to talk about something that you are passionate about.  He then asked for people give money to help fund the rest of our adoption expenses.  They put  a drum case on the edge of the stage to use as an offering bucket and while Jason Crabb was still speaking a little boy walked up and handed him 2 dollars.  It was so sweet!  He had us go down and stand by the offering bucket and asked people to come forward and give money.  It was so overwhelming and humbling!  A crowd of people came forward and dropped money in and we hugged and shook hands with everyone of them.  It was amazing to hear their words of encouragement.  There was a man who told us he had been adopted as a young child and people who said they would pray for us and asked us to pray for them.  There were so many nice things said to Isaac about always keeping his soft heart and how it all started with him and to never turn from the Lord when he grows up!  It was so touching and an experience that I will never ever forget.  We were so blessed Friday night.  Not only financially but spiritually.  We walked away with $1,121.77 that night which is huge for us but even more than that God showed us that he is right here with us.  God still has his hand on us and that gave me comfort and peace.  He allowed something to happen that was beyond anything we could have hoped for.  God is so good ALL the time!!!

Letting God work

  I have viewed this adoption process in stages and with each step we take we have different feelings, we see God work in different ways and we have learned so much about life, love and faith.  Since our referral in September we have transitioned from the "work hard save everything" to the "let go and let God" phase. I am a firm believer in prayer and that God has a plan but I also believe that we can't expect things to just happen. We have to get up and work too and that's what we've done this past year and a half.  With that said I also believe there is a time to be still and let God work and that is where I feel we are at right now.  We know there is no way we will be able to save any money until after Christmas.  I will admit at first I was anxious and worried about where it will come from but since then God has given me a peace and a stillness that only he can provide.  I am excited about this phase because it will give us a chance to just watch God do his work and we will give all the glory to him.  I am a type A personality so not having a plan usually gives me anxiety and stress but I can feel God's presence so strongly right now that I am not worried one bit.   This post had been on my heart all last week and I wanted to type it up Wednesday night before church but didn't have time to get it done.   I wish I would have because I happened to check my mailbox when I was leaving for church and there was an anonymous letter with 100 dollars inside!  God had led whoever it was to give us money for our adoption.  I sat in my car at the end of the driveway and cried.  I cried for 4 reasons...knowing that God is working, affirmation that we are doing what God has called us to do and that others are also listening to God's call, and we really needed the money!  Since we wiped out our savings for our referral we have been at zero but now I can happily say we have an official start for our next financial hurdle and we are currently at $100.00!!!!  Also, some dear friends of ours Tim and Kristen Tucker are planning a fund raiser for us November 9th.  We have 5 area church worship bands coming to play!  What an amazing night of worship we will have!!!  I am excited that there are 5 different worship bands that are willing to take time out of their busy schedules to come support us and adoption awareness!  We have only known Tim and Kristen for about a year but it is amazing how much we value their friendship.  Every since we started going to LifePoint Church we have made so many valuable friendships that I wouldn't trade for the world!  There is also another prayer that we feel is possibly being answered and if all goes well we will be able to share that in about a week.  Until then we would appreciate your prayers!  God is good all the time!!!

What's a Sshlumpie?!

Well, one month down since our referral!  One more month and I can send another care package!!!!  I know it's a little early to be thinking about the next package but I had a reason for shopping early...I'll get to that later.

 I wanted to find a small stuffed animal or something that Lauren could cuddle and carry around.  Finding something that is cute, soft and small enough to fit in a gallon zip-lock baggie is tricky.  I also wanted to be able to add other things in the bag too so it couldn't take up too much room or weigh too much!  I was a little worried that I would find the "just right" thing.  My dear friend Laurie just opened a store last month that carries things you would find on Etsy it's called Perennial Design Co.  Her store is absolutely beautiful and she carries an array of beautiful things.  I knew if my "just right" thing was to be found I would find it at her store.  So, last Saturday after Isaac's football game we stopped in.  Guess what?!  We found it right away!!!  It's called a Sshlumpie Cuddler...

 It's like a stuffed animal without the stuffing!  It's so soft and cuddly!  It's kind of a cross between a stuffed animal and a blankie.  The great thing is that it's light weight and will lay flat in the baggie with plenty of room for other things! 
 Now, the reason I wanted it early is so Isaac can sleep with it for an entire month and then it will smell like us....like home.  At first Isaac resisted sleeping with it because you know he is in the 4th grade and too old for that sort of thing but he loves that lamb.  I think he loves the idea that he is cuddling it now and soon his sister will be.  Hopefully she will like it and it will become a comfort item that she can bring home with her to make her feel a little better when she makes her difficult transition.

Here is a link to Perennial Design Co. if anyone wants to check it out! http://perennialdesigncompany.com/

Money or Not....Here We Come. (Part 3)

  Step 3...It didn't take the devil long to try and steal my joy.  Often times when I've read or talked about the Israelites it amazes me how they could see Gods miracles first hand and still be unthankful and continue to complain and not have faith God was going to see them through.  That's why they wondered around in the desert for 40 years!  Well, I caught myself being just like the Israelites!  God had just provided more than I ever thought possible and here I am doubting that he will provide the rest!  Shame on me!

  I look at this past year and see all the sacrifices we've made to save money for our precious little girl.  Little things that kind of make me laugh to think about.  We all 3 pack our lunches everyday, we only eat out once a week at Mazzios where we can eat for under 20 bucks, we refill our water bottles and have switched from soda cans to 2 liters.  No vacations, no Silver Dollar City passes, no movie theater, no weekend get away to celebrate our 15th wedding anniversary.  Jason doesn't drive his truck because there's no gas in it, my car needs an oil change and new tires...just to name a few things.  I said all that to say this. God works differently in everyone's lives.  for some people it's that "Angel singing, bright light moment"  where the money just falls in your lap or a huge check comes in the mail.  I love to hear those stories.  It's those stories that prove it had to be God working.  But for some of us God works more subtly in our lives, it doesn't make him less there, he just works in a different way.  There has not been, up to this point, checks in the mail or money falling into our laps but God is here working.  He allowed for us to have the exact amount of money when we needed it.  I'm not saying I wouldn't love and accept money given to us but there is something to be said about the financial journey of adoption.  I think all the sacrifice and hard work makes the reward that much sweeter in the end.  It has also taught us to trust God every step of the way.  So, right now our savings account is back to zero but we will continue to sacrifice, save and trust God to provide.

Money or Not...Here We Come. (Part 2)

   Now on to step 2....We are not good at asking for help, we are more comfortable giving than receiving.  In fact I have cheated people close to me out of blessings because I wouldn't accept their generosity.  There's one particular time that happened ten or so years ago that still bothers me.  Well we needed to have a fund raiser and I only felt comfortable having a garage sale and asking for donated items.  I mean after all there's a lot of people who would rather take stuff to the free store than sell it so basically it was no skin off their back to help us.  That's how I rationalized it in my head anyway.  We had a lot of wonderful people donate items!  We even had a gentleman in our church give us a hundred dollar check!  That was huge for us!  Nobody before or since has just given us that much money!  Around that time we sold our house (it had been for sale for 2 years).  We had to move the weekend after our garage sale.  So, we had to get rid of everything that weekend and probably let some things go cheaper than we should have.  We still did good though!  We made almost 1,300 dollars!  It gave us the jump start we needed in our savings account!

  In the next year we built a new house and saved every dime of money possible.  We also applied for a grant which we were denied.  That was hard because it made me question if we were really doing what God wanted us to do.  But we kept pressing on knowing that God had gotten us this far.

  In July when my summer checks came we reached our goal!  We had just over 11,000 dollars in our savings acct.!  WOW!  God had blessed us so much!  There was one thing I didn't account for though.  I had forgotten that I needed 300 dollars for our homestudy update in August.  So out it came from the savings.  I also ran us too short and had to take out 175 dollars for grocery's and gas for my car.  I was so disappointed because that's the first time I had to withdraw any money that wasn't for the adoption.

  So, September 6 rolls around and we finally got the call we had been waiting for!  We got a referral of a 13 month old healthy girl!  I was excited beyond belief but quickly thought "Oh, No! We are short on money!"  We were 540 dollars short to be exact.  We needed 11,090 dollars to send with our acceptance paperwork.  So, here's where the story gets good...Jason and I were discussing where and how we were going to come up with the money.  We thought about asking someone to borrow it or getting cash off our credit card.  Neither one of those choices felt right.  God had gotten us this close he wasn't going to leave us hanging 540 dollars short!  Not after a year of saving over 10,000 dollars!  But where was it going to come from?!  This was a Monday and I had written out my bills on Friday but still had not found the time to pay them.  I realized they totaled 300 dollars and they weren't due until the 20th which was the same day I got my first paycheck of the school year!  So thank God I hadn't paid them!  I could hold them and pay them on the 20th when I got paid and they wouldn't even be late!  So, between holding our bills, 60 dollars cash my Aunt and mom had raised for us, cash out of Jason's wallet and some money from our checking acct. we had enough!!!!  Did we have any extra?!  Absolutely NOT!  But we met our goal, our bills weren't late, we had grocery's and gas in our car!  Glory to God!  God never promised us extra or excess but he promised to give us what we need and he did exactly that and we were thankful!

Money or Not...Here We Come! (Part 1)

  I have debated whether to make a post about money but it is a very big part of the adoption process.  I know I have appreciated reading other people's blog post's on this subject.  I have so many thoughts and feelings swirling around in my head, I hope I can make it all make sense. I have so much to say about it I'm going to split it into 3 posts so it doesn't get too lengthy.   Nevertheless here it goes....

  Of course like most people who feel led to adopt we didn't have thirty extra thousand dollars laying around.  To be honest with you we didn't even have a savings account.  We have always had what we need but not much extra.  We are planners by nature so if there would be something we wanted we saved to buy it.  When God spoke to us about adopting it's the first time we stepped out financially on faith, meaning we weren't going to be able to save it all before we started the process.  We believed if God was calling us to this then he would provide the way.

 I had been a stay at home mom to Isaac until he started second grade.  I got a job as a para because I was bored, or so I thought, but God was lining things up just right to provide the way.  We were used to living on just Jason's income so I have been able to save most of my checks for the adoption.

 I kind of think about the adoption fees in 3 steps.  Step 1- the homestudy, dossier fees, I-800A fee, etc.  Step 2- the big chunk at time of referral and Step 3- travel.  Now when we started this process our plan was to save the 6,000 dollars for step 1, get a loan for step 2 (because there was no way we could save over 11,000 dollars) and then save for step 3 (6 to 8 thousand...give or take).

 We were able to pay all of step 1 with my paychecks.  I felt very grateful just to be able to come up with that much.  Let me tell you it was scary for me (who is a type A personality) to write that first big check.  I had to have Jason sit beside me for support because it represented the physical "step of faith".  It's one thing to say you are trusting God but a whole other thing to actually write that check and have faith God will provide the rest but we made it through step 1 of our financial goal!  Ahhh....sigh of relief.